Reliable reports with photographic evidence have been found of Donnie depicting homosexual tendancies.
It is also learnt that certain would-be victims are considering legal action. More news will follow as we receive them.
e hënë, 18 qershor 2007
e diel, 17 qershor 2007
The morning after
So Shrek/Rico calls Venus at 10.00am following the night of water therapy saying he dreamt that he needed to go to the post office (?!?) ... begged Venus to be kind to him as he as he was still very high. Of course Venus exploited the opp to extract a few crucial pieces of info from him.
Anyways...Shrek was convinced that Chamcy stayed over at Venus's place (?!?) The poor ogre was obviously unaware of the elaborate transportation arrangements that night. In any case he was full of high praise for Chamcy saying that the latter has surpassed the Phantom's 'talents'
Explaining the real situation gave Shrek a headache, so further clarifications will be needed (sigh)
Shakespeare “The Twister” or “Being Insanely Drunk on a Friday Night”
They say that the female of the species is deadlier then the male, what they forgot to say was that the female of the species is also a whole lot smarter; this is illustrated below, ala Venus and the Twister plan.
It started out well enough as you can see in Rico’s post (hold on is it Shrek’s post?) [We shall refer to Shrek/Rico as … “The IT” here after]
“The IT” consumed a little to much swamp water and ended up looking a lot greener then usual, I am sure our gracious host Quadra will be able to confirm just how green, after inspecting his loo or what is left of it.
After the game of Taboo [where I the Phantom together with The Don and Co strived valiantly to uplift our teams position (failed miserably ofcourse , and I blame the weather and the fact that the other bunch cheated!!)] Venus and her cohorts enacted their dastardly plan, having intoxicated the poor lads by spiking their pure sparkling water with a cocktail of the most potent alcohol, (in this case Bacardi Rum and Smirnoff Vodka cunningly passed off as Perrier) Venus proceeded to propose a game of Twister … ( needless to say she had come prepared … "wearing" her excuse ….) The lads whose senses were quite fuddled by this time decided to engage in this “harmless game” little did they know what was in store!!
It is at this point that The IT woke up with a startled look and flew to Quadra’s loo like a bat out of hell and discharged a most foul smelling mess of water and bits of sausage and prawns all over Quadra’s loo [There was some debate about locking The IT in the loo and throwing the key away but sanity prevailed…. Besides it was more fun to observer him going through this procedure repeatedly]
We are all a little hazy about what the objectives are in Twister, it involved a mat with a lot of colored dots [ I have to ask at this point if the dots were real ?] and it involved doing some very weird contortions with ones body in order to place ones appendages on the various dots… Venus had in her custody a device which indicated where each appendage should be placed …. Venus and Co proceed to torture the poor chaps at leisure, the contestants ended up in a fearful tangle, and to make matters worse the traitor Doc, who by this time was doing a very convincing impression of a drunken monkey found the proverbial razor blade in Quadra’s camera. The monkey, I mean Doc (did someone say monkey?) (Nobody saw that ok) then started to click away at a rate with the encouragements of The Don, and record the whole sordid mess for posterity!! (A fatwa has been issued against Quadra’s camera and Doc and The Don have been declared persona non grata)
Thankfully the evening or was it morning (time was a bit liquid at this point) drew to a close and all concerned departed for their respective caves some walked some were carried and some were wondering what country they were in.
PS:
In the midst of all this there was an incident with a bottle of vodka, but first a small rhyme to break the monotony of this post...
“Little Miss Lil Miss Muffin
Sat on a tuffet,
Drinking her Vodka and Coke…”
And now back to the Vodka incident
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
X: Can you open this bottle please?
Phantom: It is open...
X: Oh no this is a new bottle …
Phantom: [puzzled … we only had one bottle of vodka, plays along] is the other one over?
X: [sad look] yes, can you open this one please?
Phantom: [looks at X …. Opens bottle] it is the same bottle X we only had one
X: [looking befuddled] …. Are you sure …
Phantom: Yes I am sure [GRIN]
X: Oh my god [blushing] I did not just do that
Phantom: mums the word… shall I pour that drink for you?
X: No I am fine thanks...
Phantom: X… the glass is over there…
X: ......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Mark of the Phantom
His Excellency the PhantomMenace …master of all things menacing ….."The dear leader" of our nation (at this point we are not sure which nation...but, never mind that we will get around to deciding later) has released his official seal …. This seal shall be used in conducting all manner of business (official and unofficial)
e shtunë, 16 qershor 2007
Games Night at Batta - 2
Unlike Rico the Penguin, Shrek the Ogre is a peaceful dude living a simple life in the serenity of his Swamp. He has always been strong and healthy because his favourite drink is pure drinking water. He knows that his children and their children will renovate this swamp but one thing that will remain unchanged is his S-Lon PE+ water tank. Which is why he was pleased when he heard that Quadra and Doc were brewing a certain health drink called mojito was in order. Key ingredients were Mint leaves (which later got to know as minchi), Barcadi Pure Drinking Water and Lime; an excellent mix to rejuvenate your system.
Venus, Goddess of Love gave me, Queen Rani and Chamcy a ride and showed off her excellent driving skills (Shrek's chattering of teeth was due to the A/C). Anyways we arrived at Quadra's house safe and sound and met 2 new members: Lil Miss Muffin and Andy. Lil Miss Muffin had an evil smile on her face and little did poor Shrek know what was in store for him.
Rum was the drink of choice except of course for Shrek who loved pure drinking water. After a warm-up round Donnie arrived full of grim determination. Everybody could see that he was not mucking around. To win was his motto yesterday. He also was not leaving anything to chance as he urged other members to drink up quoting "Stop shamming people!". The first game (Taboo) was won by Donnie's team helped by Phantom with his not soo accurate scoring mechanism. During the course of the game sausages arrived and everybody digged in much to the displeasure of Venus. Taking the whole bowl she exclaimed that the sausages were too small for her satisfaction! Quadra concerned by her wailing promised her that he would indeed make every effort bring bigger sausages to the next gaming session.
The next game (still Taboo) commenced and teams changed. Chamcy was replaced by Phantom as the scorer. Donnie's team was on the losing side, with Venus' team recording a decisive win. During the course of the game a comment by chamcy though put a doubt on Donnie's face about the number of points his team had to catch-up and I quote, "u guys are 4 and u guys scored one now and now we are 6". Queen Rani and Donnie fumed when Phantom tried to bless their team, "May the force be with you". Unfortunately that statement caused a loss of a point (force was the word he had to explain). Shock was on Lil Miss Muffin's face when she started giving clues about a basketball player and Venus gave out the name as soon as Muffin started explaining. Donnie and his team (Queen Rani, Andy, Phantom, Doc) shook their heads in disbelief. It was simply not Donnie's game as Doc decided explain the word "poodle" as "p" + "doodle". ""The first letter", he said, "is the girl I had a crush on. The second part sounds like doodle". ROFL!
An excellent dinner followed enjoyed by all. I was furious when I didnt find any prawns when I went for seconds. "DOC!!!!!". Doc denied any accusation, "Machang no i didn't eat it all! I left one!!". Ahem anyway, A pleasant chit-chat ensued with the highlight being Quadra's farting experience of which I shall not comment:D.
Back at the games a one on one battle of Taboo commenced with a drinking game attached. Nothing much was achieved of course except drinking:D. Some idiot suggested to play twister next! By this time Shrek onto his 5th coke knew his drink was spiked. 10 seconds later into twister he (shrek) quit and went off and got himself a drink consisting of plain water with no coke. Twister was fun and hilarious with Phantom, Andy and Quadra showing great stamina. Towards the end Phantom had his head between Quadra's legs. The sight was a bit uncomfortable for the rest as both seemed to enjoy the moment. Photographic evidence will follow.
By now Shrek was a goner! Stoned! Ka-boom! He puked twice (verified by Venus/Doc) and made a mess of Quadra's toilet. Sincere apologies dear comrade. It is learned that photographic evidence exists. Around 2am it was decided to call it a day and Donnie of the old Rogue-Squadron agreed to drop poor shrek off at his house. Intelligence has revealed that poor Shrek's drinks were spiked by Lil Miss Muffin in a sinister plot to drown him in the Diyawannawa Lake in retaliation to earlier threat by Shrek (in self-defence) which was to smash her car to smithereens. Anyways I thankfully got back home safe n sound and passed out on my bed.
Venus, Goddess of Love gave me, Queen Rani and Chamcy a ride and showed off her excellent driving skills (Shrek's chattering of teeth was due to the A/C). Anyways we arrived at Quadra's house safe and sound and met 2 new members: Lil Miss Muffin and Andy. Lil Miss Muffin had an evil smile on her face and little did poor Shrek know what was in store for him.
Rum was the drink of choice except of course for Shrek who loved pure drinking water. After a warm-up round Donnie arrived full of grim determination. Everybody could see that he was not mucking around. To win was his motto yesterday. He also was not leaving anything to chance as he urged other members to drink up quoting "Stop shamming people!". The first game (Taboo) was won by Donnie's team helped by Phantom with his not soo accurate scoring mechanism. During the course of the game sausages arrived and everybody digged in much to the displeasure of Venus. Taking the whole bowl she exclaimed that the sausages were too small for her satisfaction! Quadra concerned by her wailing promised her that he would indeed make every effort bring bigger sausages to the next gaming session.
The next game (still Taboo) commenced and teams changed. Chamcy was replaced by Phantom as the scorer. Donnie's team was on the losing side, with Venus' team recording a decisive win. During the course of the game a comment by chamcy though put a doubt on Donnie's face about the number of points his team had to catch-up and I quote, "u guys are 4 and u guys scored one now and now we are 6". Queen Rani and Donnie fumed when Phantom tried to bless their team, "May the force be with you". Unfortunately that statement caused a loss of a point (force was the word he had to explain). Shock was on Lil Miss Muffin's face when she started giving clues about a basketball player and Venus gave out the name as soon as Muffin started explaining. Donnie and his team (Queen Rani, Andy, Phantom, Doc) shook their heads in disbelief. It was simply not Donnie's game as Doc decided explain the word "poodle" as "p" + "doodle". ""The first letter", he said, "is the girl I had a crush on. The second part sounds like doodle". ROFL!
An excellent dinner followed enjoyed by all. I was furious when I didnt find any prawns when I went for seconds. "DOC!!!!!". Doc denied any accusation, "Machang no i didn't eat it all! I left one!!". Ahem anyway, A pleasant chit-chat ensued with the highlight being Quadra's farting experience of which I shall not comment:D.
Back at the games a one on one battle of Taboo commenced with a drinking game attached. Nothing much was achieved of course except drinking:D. Some idiot suggested to play twister next! By this time Shrek onto his 5th coke knew his drink was spiked. 10 seconds later into twister he (shrek) quit and went off and got himself a drink consisting of plain water with no coke. Twister was fun and hilarious with Phantom, Andy and Quadra showing great stamina. Towards the end Phantom had his head between Quadra's legs. The sight was a bit uncomfortable for the rest as both seemed to enjoy the moment. Photographic evidence will follow.
By now Shrek was a goner! Stoned! Ka-boom! He puked twice (verified by Venus/Doc) and made a mess of Quadra's toilet. Sincere apologies dear comrade. It is learned that photographic evidence exists. Around 2am it was decided to call it a day and Donnie of the old Rogue-Squadron agreed to drop poor shrek off at his house. Intelligence has revealed that poor Shrek's drinks were spiked by Lil Miss Muffin in a sinister plot to drown him in the Diyawannawa Lake in retaliation to earlier threat by Shrek (in self-defence) which was to smash her car to smithereens. Anyways I thankfully got back home safe n sound and passed out on my bed.
Abonohu te:
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