Shakespeare “The Twister” or “Being Insanely Drunk on a Friday Night”

They say that the female of the species is deadlier then the male, what they forgot to say was that the female of the species is also a whole lot smarter; this is illustrated below, ala Venus and the Twister plan.

It started out well enough as you can see in Rico’s post (hold on is it Shrek’s post?) [We shall refer to Shrek/Rico as … “The IT” here after]

“The IT” consumed a little to much swamp water and ended up looking a lot greener then usual, I am sure our gracious host Quadra will be able to confirm just how green, after inspecting his loo or what is left of it.

After the game of Taboo [where I the Phantom together with The Don and Co strived valiantly to uplift our teams position (failed miserably ofcourse , and I blame the weather and the fact that the other bunch cheated!!)] Venus and her cohorts enacted their dastardly plan, having intoxicated the poor lads by spiking their pure sparkling water with a cocktail of the most potent alcohol, (in this case Bacardi Rum and Smirnoff Vodka cunningly passed off as Perrier) Venus proceeded to propose a game of Twister … ( needless to say she had come prepared … "wearing" her excuse ….) The lads whose senses were quite fuddled by this time decided to engage in this “harmless game” little did they know what was in store!!

It is at this point that The IT woke up with a startled look and flew to Quadra’s loo like a bat out of hell and discharged a most foul smelling mess of water and bits of sausage and prawns all over Quadra’s loo [There was some debate about locking The IT in the loo and throwing the key away but sanity prevailed…. Besides it was more fun to observer him going through this procedure repeatedly]

We are all a little hazy about what the objectives are in Twister, it involved a mat with a lot of colored dots [ I have to ask at this point if the dots were real ?] and it involved doing some very weird contortions with ones body in order to place ones appendages on the various dots… Venus had in her custody a device which indicated where each appendage should be placed …. Venus and Co proceed to torture the poor chaps at leisure, the contestants ended up in a fearful tangle, and to make matters worse the traitor Doc, who by this time was doing a very convincing impression of a drunken monkey found the proverbial razor blade in Quadra’s camera. The monkey, I mean Doc (did someone say monkey?) (Nobody saw that ok) then started to click away at a rate with the encouragements of The Don, and record the whole sordid mess for posterity!! (A fatwa has been issued against Quadra’s camera and Doc and The Don have been declared persona non grata)

Thankfully the evening or was it morning (time was a bit liquid at this point) drew to a close and all concerned departed for their respective caves some walked some were carried and some were wondering what country they were in.

PS:

In the midst of all this there was an incident with a bottle of vodka, but first a small rhyme to break the monotony of this post...

“Little Miss Lil Miss Muffin

Sat on a tuffet,

Drinking her Vodka and Coke…”

And now back to the Vodka incident

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

X: Can you open this bottle please?

Phantom: It is open...

X: Oh no this is a new bottle …

Phantom: [puzzled … we only had one bottle of vodka, plays along] is the other one over?

X: [sad look] yes, can you open this one please?

Phantom: [looks at X …. Opens bottle] it is the same bottle X we only had one

X: [looking befuddled] …. Are you sure …

Phantom: Yes I am sure [GRIN]

X: Oh my god [blushing] I did not just do that

Phantom: mums the word… shall I pour that drink for you?

X: No I am fine thanks...

Phantom: X… the glass is over there…

X: ......

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------