Little Mermaid says: nimsah called
Shrek says: AWWW
Shrek says: my sister!
Shrek says: :D
Shrek says: :
Shrek says: --> she is not aware of such a relationship
Little Mermaid says: i didnt she was
Little Mermaid says: didnt think
Shrek says: thts ok its best tht u don't use the verb "think" and the noun "i" in the same sentence
Little Mermaid says: ROFL
Little Mermaid says: :P
Shrek says: i believe tht emoticon is disgusting
Shrek says: it obviously refers to sexual indulgence
Shrek says: perverted woman
Little Mermaid says: obviously only to sexually frustrated ppl
Shrek says: note: u made the emoticon
Shrek says: hence obviously ur frustrated
Shrek says: :D
Little Mermaid says: note: u had the dirty interpretation
Little Mermaid says: hence obviously ur frustrated
Shrek says: i wud prefer to put as skilled observation
Little Mermaid says: u would prefer i kiss your ass...u wont get everything u prefer!
Shrek says: ur re-reference to inappropriate example shows tht u wud like to kiss my ass
Shrek says: wud u prefer a date and time?
Little Mermaid says: x-(
Shrek says: leather lingerie wud prefereable
Little Mermaid winks: Play "Pig"
Little Mermaid says: thats u
Shrek says: do u know tht pig has a 30-min orgasm?
Little Mermaid says: that could never be u!
Shrek says: wud u care for a trial?
Little Mermaid says: no thank u
Little Mermaid says: is that where the phrase 'lucky pig' comes from
Shrek says: i think i made a hit
Shrek says: sigh...
e hënë, 2 korrik 2007
e premte, 22 qershor 2007
Shrek is running out of content
I completely reject this smear campaign! Note that I had nothing to do with these quotes. Though, I totally agree with points 1 and 5 in light of my unfortunate connection with Shrek. Shrek’s latest post follows a disastrous attempt by him to post a distorted version of a conversation that didn’t go his way.
Shrek/Rico, now that you’ve tried to pick on the only three females who bother to hang out with you…why not have a go with the guys? Specifically Donnie – you did mention (in your Morning After confession) that you are afraid of the Godfather’s wit :P
e enjte, 21 qershor 2007
A Female Frog, Mean Love & A Billionaress
Renowned Journalist Rico the Psychotic Penguin scouring through cyberspace would like to reveal the following links to the general public of Terabithia:
Rani : Rani (Ranee) means Queen in Hindi, and is the female equivalent of Raja (or Rajah). Rani, or Ran, in Latin, means "frog".
It has been found that Venus (aka Goddess of Love aka Lady Love aka Pish Posh) 's humour is less than desired. I present you a few of her quotes,
In other news the Penguin found that Lil Miss Muffin is actually a billionaress owning this exquisite bakery: http://www.littlemissmuffin.com/. Well how stingy she could have brought a few that night! Smack!!
Rani : Rani (Ranee) means Queen in Hindi, and is the female equivalent of Raja (or Rajah). Rani, or Ran, in Latin, means "frog".
It has been found that Venus (aka Goddess of Love aka Lady Love aka Pish Posh) 's humour is less than desired. I present you a few of her quotes,
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
In other news the Penguin found that Lil Miss Muffin is actually a billionaress owning this exquisite bakery: http://www.littlemissmuffin.com/. Well how stingy she could have brought a few that night! Smack!!
e mërkurë, 20 qershor 2007
e martë, 19 qershor 2007
The Don is not Gay!
Whilst the Don has nothing against our differently "sexual" (like differently able) friends he is NOT GAY. A petition is being prepared and signed by 87 members of the fairer sex who through their "experiences" with the Don swear by the fact that he is not gay. This petition will demand that any comments having the word "gay" and the name "The Don" together be removed immediately.
Also The Don has noticed that he is being referred to as "Donnie". Please note that "The Don" is not only a name but it is his title. (Anyone who is confused should lookup The Godfather). Stop referring to him as Donnie or "sleep with the fishes".
Also The Don has noticed that he is being referred to as "Donnie". Please note that "The Don" is not only a name but it is his title. (Anyone who is confused should lookup The Godfather). Stop referring to him as Donnie or "sleep with the fishes".
e hënë, 18 qershor 2007
News Flash: Is Donnie Gay?
Reliable reports with photographic evidence have been found of Donnie depicting homosexual tendancies.
It is also learnt that certain would-be victims are considering legal action. More news will follow as we receive them.
It is also learnt that certain would-be victims are considering legal action. More news will follow as we receive them.
e diel, 17 qershor 2007
The morning after
So Shrek/Rico calls Venus at 10.00am following the night of water therapy saying he dreamt that he needed to go to the post office (?!?) ... begged Venus to be kind to him as he as he was still very high. Of course Venus exploited the opp to extract a few crucial pieces of info from him.
Anyways...Shrek was convinced that Chamcy stayed over at Venus's place (?!?) The poor ogre was obviously unaware of the elaborate transportation arrangements that night. In any case he was full of high praise for Chamcy saying that the latter has surpassed the Phantom's 'talents'
Explaining the real situation gave Shrek a headache, so further clarifications will be needed (sigh)
Shakespeare “The Twister” or “Being Insanely Drunk on a Friday Night”
They say that the female of the species is deadlier then the male, what they forgot to say was that the female of the species is also a whole lot smarter; this is illustrated below, ala Venus and the Twister plan.
It started out well enough as you can see in Rico’s post (hold on is it Shrek’s post?) [We shall refer to Shrek/Rico as … “The IT” here after]
“The IT” consumed a little to much swamp water and ended up looking a lot greener then usual, I am sure our gracious host Quadra will be able to confirm just how green, after inspecting his loo or what is left of it.
After the game of Taboo [where I the Phantom together with The Don and Co strived valiantly to uplift our teams position (failed miserably ofcourse , and I blame the weather and the fact that the other bunch cheated!!)] Venus and her cohorts enacted their dastardly plan, having intoxicated the poor lads by spiking their pure sparkling water with a cocktail of the most potent alcohol, (in this case Bacardi Rum and Smirnoff Vodka cunningly passed off as Perrier) Venus proceeded to propose a game of Twister … ( needless to say she had come prepared … "wearing" her excuse ….) The lads whose senses were quite fuddled by this time decided to engage in this “harmless game” little did they know what was in store!!
It is at this point that The IT woke up with a startled look and flew to Quadra’s loo like a bat out of hell and discharged a most foul smelling mess of water and bits of sausage and prawns all over Quadra’s loo [There was some debate about locking The IT in the loo and throwing the key away but sanity prevailed…. Besides it was more fun to observer him going through this procedure repeatedly]
We are all a little hazy about what the objectives are in Twister, it involved a mat with a lot of colored dots [ I have to ask at this point if the dots were real ?] and it involved doing some very weird contortions with ones body in order to place ones appendages on the various dots… Venus had in her custody a device which indicated where each appendage should be placed …. Venus and Co proceed to torture the poor chaps at leisure, the contestants ended up in a fearful tangle, and to make matters worse the traitor Doc, who by this time was doing a very convincing impression of a drunken monkey found the proverbial razor blade in Quadra’s camera. The monkey, I mean Doc (did someone say monkey?) (Nobody saw that ok) then started to click away at a rate with the encouragements of The Don, and record the whole sordid mess for posterity!! (A fatwa has been issued against Quadra’s camera and Doc and The Don have been declared persona non grata)
Thankfully the evening or was it morning (time was a bit liquid at this point) drew to a close and all concerned departed for their respective caves some walked some were carried and some were wondering what country they were in.
PS:
In the midst of all this there was an incident with a bottle of vodka, but first a small rhyme to break the monotony of this post...
“Little Miss Lil Miss Muffin
Sat on a tuffet,
Drinking her Vodka and Coke…”
And now back to the Vodka incident
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
X: Can you open this bottle please?
Phantom: It is open...
X: Oh no this is a new bottle …
Phantom: [puzzled … we only had one bottle of vodka, plays along] is the other one over?
X: [sad look] yes, can you open this one please?
Phantom: [looks at X …. Opens bottle] it is the same bottle X we only had one
X: [looking befuddled] …. Are you sure …
Phantom: Yes I am sure [GRIN]
X: Oh my god [blushing] I did not just do that
Phantom: mums the word… shall I pour that drink for you?
X: No I am fine thanks...
Phantom: X… the glass is over there…
X: ......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Mark of the Phantom
His Excellency the PhantomMenace …master of all things menacing ….."The dear leader" of our nation (at this point we are not sure which nation...but, never mind that we will get around to deciding later) has released his official seal …. This seal shall be used in conducting all manner of business (official and unofficial)
e shtunë, 16 qershor 2007
Games Night at Batta - 2
Unlike Rico the Penguin, Shrek the Ogre is a peaceful dude living a simple life in the serenity of his Swamp. He has always been strong and healthy because his favourite drink is pure drinking water. He knows that his children and their children will renovate this swamp but one thing that will remain unchanged is his S-Lon PE+ water tank. Which is why he was pleased when he heard that Quadra and Doc were brewing a certain health drink called mojito was in order. Key ingredients were Mint leaves (which later got to know as minchi), Barcadi Pure Drinking Water and Lime; an excellent mix to rejuvenate your system.
Venus, Goddess of Love gave me, Queen Rani and Chamcy a ride and showed off her excellent driving skills (Shrek's chattering of teeth was due to the A/C). Anyways we arrived at Quadra's house safe and sound and met 2 new members: Lil Miss Muffin and Andy. Lil Miss Muffin had an evil smile on her face and little did poor Shrek know what was in store for him.
Rum was the drink of choice except of course for Shrek who loved pure drinking water. After a warm-up round Donnie arrived full of grim determination. Everybody could see that he was not mucking around. To win was his motto yesterday. He also was not leaving anything to chance as he urged other members to drink up quoting "Stop shamming people!". The first game (Taboo) was won by Donnie's team helped by Phantom with his not soo accurate scoring mechanism. During the course of the game sausages arrived and everybody digged in much to the displeasure of Venus. Taking the whole bowl she exclaimed that the sausages were too small for her satisfaction! Quadra concerned by her wailing promised her that he would indeed make every effort bring bigger sausages to the next gaming session.
The next game (still Taboo) commenced and teams changed. Chamcy was replaced by Phantom as the scorer. Donnie's team was on the losing side, with Venus' team recording a decisive win. During the course of the game a comment by chamcy though put a doubt on Donnie's face about the number of points his team had to catch-up and I quote, "u guys are 4 and u guys scored one now and now we are 6". Queen Rani and Donnie fumed when Phantom tried to bless their team, "May the force be with you". Unfortunately that statement caused a loss of a point (force was the word he had to explain). Shock was on Lil Miss Muffin's face when she started giving clues about a basketball player and Venus gave out the name as soon as Muffin started explaining. Donnie and his team (Queen Rani, Andy, Phantom, Doc) shook their heads in disbelief. It was simply not Donnie's game as Doc decided explain the word "poodle" as "p" + "doodle". ""The first letter", he said, "is the girl I had a crush on. The second part sounds like doodle". ROFL!
An excellent dinner followed enjoyed by all. I was furious when I didnt find any prawns when I went for seconds. "DOC!!!!!". Doc denied any accusation, "Machang no i didn't eat it all! I left one!!". Ahem anyway, A pleasant chit-chat ensued with the highlight being Quadra's farting experience of which I shall not comment:D.
Back at the games a one on one battle of Taboo commenced with a drinking game attached. Nothing much was achieved of course except drinking:D. Some idiot suggested to play twister next! By this time Shrek onto his 5th coke knew his drink was spiked. 10 seconds later into twister he (shrek) quit and went off and got himself a drink consisting of plain water with no coke. Twister was fun and hilarious with Phantom, Andy and Quadra showing great stamina. Towards the end Phantom had his head between Quadra's legs. The sight was a bit uncomfortable for the rest as both seemed to enjoy the moment. Photographic evidence will follow.
By now Shrek was a goner! Stoned! Ka-boom! He puked twice (verified by Venus/Doc) and made a mess of Quadra's toilet. Sincere apologies dear comrade. It is learned that photographic evidence exists. Around 2am it was decided to call it a day and Donnie of the old Rogue-Squadron agreed to drop poor shrek off at his house. Intelligence has revealed that poor Shrek's drinks were spiked by Lil Miss Muffin in a sinister plot to drown him in the Diyawannawa Lake in retaliation to earlier threat by Shrek (in self-defence) which was to smash her car to smithereens. Anyways I thankfully got back home safe n sound and passed out on my bed.
Venus, Goddess of Love gave me, Queen Rani and Chamcy a ride and showed off her excellent driving skills (Shrek's chattering of teeth was due to the A/C). Anyways we arrived at Quadra's house safe and sound and met 2 new members: Lil Miss Muffin and Andy. Lil Miss Muffin had an evil smile on her face and little did poor Shrek know what was in store for him.
Rum was the drink of choice except of course for Shrek who loved pure drinking water. After a warm-up round Donnie arrived full of grim determination. Everybody could see that he was not mucking around. To win was his motto yesterday. He also was not leaving anything to chance as he urged other members to drink up quoting "Stop shamming people!". The first game (Taboo) was won by Donnie's team helped by Phantom with his not soo accurate scoring mechanism. During the course of the game sausages arrived and everybody digged in much to the displeasure of Venus. Taking the whole bowl she exclaimed that the sausages were too small for her satisfaction! Quadra concerned by her wailing promised her that he would indeed make every effort bring bigger sausages to the next gaming session.
The next game (still Taboo) commenced and teams changed. Chamcy was replaced by Phantom as the scorer. Donnie's team was on the losing side, with Venus' team recording a decisive win. During the course of the game a comment by chamcy though put a doubt on Donnie's face about the number of points his team had to catch-up and I quote, "u guys are 4 and u guys scored one now and now we are 6". Queen Rani and Donnie fumed when Phantom tried to bless their team, "May the force be with you". Unfortunately that statement caused a loss of a point (force was the word he had to explain). Shock was on Lil Miss Muffin's face when she started giving clues about a basketball player and Venus gave out the name as soon as Muffin started explaining. Donnie and his team (Queen Rani, Andy, Phantom, Doc) shook their heads in disbelief. It was simply not Donnie's game as Doc decided explain the word "poodle" as "p" + "doodle". ""The first letter", he said, "is the girl I had a crush on. The second part sounds like doodle". ROFL!
An excellent dinner followed enjoyed by all. I was furious when I didnt find any prawns when I went for seconds. "DOC!!!!!". Doc denied any accusation, "Machang no i didn't eat it all! I left one!!". Ahem anyway, A pleasant chit-chat ensued with the highlight being Quadra's farting experience of which I shall not comment:D.
Back at the games a one on one battle of Taboo commenced with a drinking game attached. Nothing much was achieved of course except drinking:D. Some idiot suggested to play twister next! By this time Shrek onto his 5th coke knew his drink was spiked. 10 seconds later into twister he (shrek) quit and went off and got himself a drink consisting of plain water with no coke. Twister was fun and hilarious with Phantom, Andy and Quadra showing great stamina. Towards the end Phantom had his head between Quadra's legs. The sight was a bit uncomfortable for the rest as both seemed to enjoy the moment. Photographic evidence will follow.
By now Shrek was a goner! Stoned! Ka-boom! He puked twice (verified by Venus/Doc) and made a mess of Quadra's toilet. Sincere apologies dear comrade. It is learned that photographic evidence exists. Around 2am it was decided to call it a day and Donnie of the old Rogue-Squadron agreed to drop poor shrek off at his house. Intelligence has revealed that poor Shrek's drinks were spiked by Lil Miss Muffin in a sinister plot to drown him in the Diyawannawa Lake in retaliation to earlier threat by Shrek (in self-defence) which was to smash her car to smithereens. Anyways I thankfully got back home safe n sound and passed out on my bed.
Hobbes Speaks Up!!
Helloooo..!! I thought I shud introduce myself in this blog space... :)
I am Hobbes! That's right the cute, intellectual n cudddddllly tiger... Just like for Calvin, I am the master mind behind Shreks doings (Please note: only the smart moves. The dumb moves of Shrek occur when I am on vacation!!)
Well.. I don like typing more than one parah in a post.. so I gotta go now.. :) buh-byeee!!
I am Hobbes! That's right the cute, intellectual n cudddddllly tiger... Just like for Calvin, I am the master mind behind Shreks doings (Please note: only the smart moves. The dumb moves of Shrek occur when I am on vacation!!)
Well.. I don like typing more than one parah in a post.. so I gotta go now.. :) buh-byeee!!
e premte, 15 qershor 2007
Warning Issued to Invited Non-Registrants
His excellency Shrek, King of the land far far farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr away has issued a tough stance on non-registrants to his web-site. The official message is as follows,
"Any arse who doesn't register to 'shreknrico' blog in the next 12 hours will get his/her ass kicked"
This tough stance is one of many he had put forward determined on implementing his "shrek chinthanaya" agenda.
"Any arse who doesn't register to 'shreknrico' blog in the next 12 hours will get his/her ass kicked"
This tough stance is one of many he had put forward determined on implementing his "shrek chinthanaya" agenda.
e enjte, 14 qershor 2007
The Swamp: Games Night at Batta
In our first editorial of the happenings in the swamp we focus on the recently concluded Games night on the 8th of June. I, Rico was invited to Batta to participate in the frolicks organized by Doc. I armed myself with several rambo knives just in case the games got aggressive.
After picking up pish-posh I thankfully arrived without any hiccups at Doc's new home. Indeed all were present except of course Queen Rani who claimed she needed to enlighten herself before seeing us.
The first game of UNO was highly competitive. Mali chose to stay out of it saying, 'Its ok. I'll just watch'.. My ass! He knew he would be in trouble taking a shot at this intellectually straining game. Smart dude... he had lil chance with us pro's.
Before breaking for dinner Mali childishly challenged me to Mortal Kombat on Deva's PS2. Even though he beat me silly hands down I totally blame it on that idiot deva for screwing up the configuration of the controllers. Well Mali hope you have a good dose of luck next time buddy.. Coz ur going down!
I can't exactly remember what the dinner was for... Well for whatever it was (wasn't it some helicopter thingy???), the dinner was awesome, dude!!
After dinner me n doc picked up Queen Rani. I had the engine running and racing and as soon as she flew in I screeched and we were on our way back to Batta. I heard gun-shots behind me and I looked at Rani who gave me a sheepish grin saying not to worry that it was a her dad shooting at stray dogs and that by no means was her dad angry that she was leaving in the middle of the night to frolick.
Taboo was played on a lighter note. Or so some people tried to let others think so. Suspicion was apparent on Mali face with him inquiring from P. Posh about her dark circles. A clear sign according to him that her team was well prepared. I on the other hand think otherwise. I believe that Deva was a double agent and was really an imposter planted by Miss Has and Chamcy. How else can one explain the words, 'leg, womb, vagina, boob' when he had get us to say Baby Boomer?:-S Clearly espionage i say!
There are rumours that there is another gaming session being brewed up by Deva. Well until then adios! And Miss Has please be nice to poor asi and give him more of them insanely delicious brownies! Really you are soo mean!!
After picking up pish-posh I thankfully arrived without any hiccups at Doc's new home. Indeed all were present except of course Queen Rani who claimed she needed to enlighten herself before seeing us.
The first game of UNO was highly competitive. Mali chose to stay out of it saying, 'Its ok. I'll just watch'.. My ass! He knew he would be in trouble taking a shot at this intellectually straining game. Smart dude... he had lil chance with us pro's.
Before breaking for dinner Mali childishly challenged me to Mortal Kombat on Deva's PS2. Even though he beat me silly hands down I totally blame it on that idiot deva for screwing up the configuration of the controllers. Well Mali hope you have a good dose of luck next time buddy.. Coz ur going down!
I can't exactly remember what the dinner was for... Well for whatever it was (wasn't it some helicopter thingy???), the dinner was awesome, dude!!
After dinner me n doc picked up Queen Rani. I had the engine running and racing and as soon as she flew in I screeched and we were on our way back to Batta. I heard gun-shots behind me and I looked at Rani who gave me a sheepish grin saying not to worry that it was a her dad shooting at stray dogs and that by no means was her dad angry that she was leaving in the middle of the night to frolick.
Taboo was played on a lighter note. Or so some people tried to let others think so. Suspicion was apparent on Mali face with him inquiring from P. Posh about her dark circles. A clear sign according to him that her team was well prepared. I on the other hand think otherwise. I believe that Deva was a double agent and was really an imposter planted by Miss Has and Chamcy. How else can one explain the words, 'leg, womb, vagina, boob' when he had get us to say Baby Boomer?:-S Clearly espionage i say!
There are rumours that there is another gaming session being brewed up by Deva. Well until then adios! And Miss Has please be nice to poor asi and give him more of them insanely delicious brownies! Really you are soo mean!!
My First Blog
Shrek n Rico
--------------
Well to many I am known as Shrek, a large, green, terrifying ogre. I love peace and solitude and live in a swamp. I am known to have a great philosophical mind which is acknowledged by many, especially after I expressed my philosophical observations on the similarities between ogres and onions, observing both have layers beyond the surface. I cook a "'mean' weed rat stew" and have a sense of humor that is not always appropriate, or so they say.
Rico is my alter ego. A recent police report contains the following facts: A member of the Madagascar Penguins, Rico is a Psychotic knife wizard and explosives expert. Rico displays a certain talent for the Culinary arts. Rendering a raw fish to sushi in mere seconds. And carving a block of ice into the shape of a christmas tree. Can store various items in his stomach. Also seems to be an excellent swimmer (he is the only penguin seen swimming). He has dark circles under his eyes. The only real words known in his vocabulary are "Eggnog" and "Ka-boom." It is suggested he speaks an Asian language, probably Japanese.
How it all began
------------------
Well for everybody's information. This blog was created on company time. Never do this unless,
--------------
Well to many I am known as Shrek, a large, green, terrifying ogre. I love peace and solitude and live in a swamp. I am known to have a great philosophical mind which is acknowledged by many, especially after I expressed my philosophical observations on the similarities between ogres and onions, observing both have layers beyond the surface. I cook a "'mean' weed rat stew" and have a sense of humor that is not always appropriate, or so they say.
Rico is my alter ego. A recent police report contains the following facts: A member of the Madagascar Penguins, Rico is a Psychotic knife wizard and explosives expert. Rico displays a certain talent for the Culinary arts. Rendering a raw fish to sushi in mere seconds. And carving a block of ice into the shape of a christmas tree. Can store various items in his stomach. Also seems to be an excellent swimmer (he is the only penguin seen swimming). He has dark circles under his eyes. The only real words known in his vocabulary are "Eggnog" and "Ka-boom." It is suggested he speaks an Asian language, probably Japanese.
How it all began
------------------
Well for everybody's information. This blog was created on company time. Never do this unless,
- You have resigned and are living out those miserable 30 days
- Sick at work
- Jobless and Sick to Death at work
Abonohu te:
Postimet (Atom)
